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Various sites are reporting on 17 year old Zach Richardson today and his supposed “video game addiction”. Zach left school more than a year ago and has been logging up to 15 hours a day with various online games like Call of Duty, Fifa, and Football Manager ever since.

Doctors warn that if this behavior continues, the teenager’s health could seriously be affected as most of the time the British teen is skipping meals, not washing, and only calls it quits due to severe headaches and blackouts while playing. Zach commented on his sorry state of affairs…

“I left school more than a year ago and had nothing to do, so I turned to video games to fill the days while I searched for a job,”

“It started off slowly. I only spent two or three hours a day playing. It was just for a bit of fun.”

“Now it has got out of control and I know I have an addiction but I cannot help it. I know I need help to kick the habit.”

“It is really distressing but I just cannot help it.”

Now I do tend to throw the “douche” label around generously, and sometimes it’s undeserved. In this case though I’m 99% positive we can all agree that this kid is a lazy douche. First off Zach, you’re not Korean, and you’re not farming gold. Quit trying to buck stereotypes please. This isn’t a case of video game addiction, it’s a case of a lazy ass teenager needing a swift kick in the ass. Zach is jobless so we can safely assume he lives at home with his parents. Here is an idea parentals, throw the fucking Xbox out the window, problem solved. This isn’t an addiction, it’s an unwillingness to leave the house and cope with the realities of the world we live in. While I’m not denying that young Zach may have some serious issues that need to be worked out with a professional, “video game addiction” isn’t the cause, it’s the excuse for not dealing with whatever the real problem is.

Either way, I would like to thank Zach and his serious case of swamp ass for giving uninformed parents another reason to be paranoid about video games…assclown.